Friday, June 1, 2018

The Party at Desley’s House – Story #7

The Party at Desley’s House – Story #7

Story #7 – The Party at Desley’s House

   Starring:  Scottish Terrier—Bonnie, Gordon, Archie, Madge, Onie-P (Fiona Paisley), McKeeghan, Peanut, Sawney, Jock, Gus, Gwyn, Rebus, Café, Latte. Apolo, Gerard, Ivy, Jolie. Westie—Molly, Whiskey.  Feline—Oreo, Raisin, Sir Puss in Boots.

The Scotties and Associates head out for a Holiday free from the pesky restrictions it seems every Scotty Mum has. But, freedom gets a bit spicy and then heats right up into danger!

The Party at Desley’s House

Background information:  Desley, Australian Scotty Mum, is off on holiday for the next several days. Des "thinks" her precious Bonnie was dropped off at relative’s house to play with her cousin dogs until Mum returns. Bonnie has other ideas.

WELL….in Texas, Fiona, being as young as she is, doesn't yet understand when she’s "telling" Annie, her Scotty Mum, something….after all, she and Mum talk about everything! It seems Bonnie will be slipping back home tomorrow and has called to invite all the fur-babies to a party …. at Des’ house.

Annie watches as Fiona, Sawney, Molly, & Gus pack toys, kibble, and treats for their trip.

So, Scotty Mums and Dads….do you know where your fur-children are tonight?

Archie, Peanut and Whiskey are on a flight already. Gordon and Madge will be boarding a plane soon. What in the world is going to happen now?

Mums the word with the Nefarious Feline Prime, Oreo—she’s been called out on a highly secretive mission. NF Commander Raisin is ferrying Oreo to the drop point via the Baby Hornet—a favorite, high speed mode of transport. (Well, guess we know where she’s headed – with all the Royal Activity, she’s probably assisting with security. It’s certain Queen Madge will be in attendance, along with all her important dignitaries.)

Yes, Security—Oreo and her team will be running perimeter surveillance – no worries! The pups have promised to keep the party to a low roar. Oreo will provide her standard de-briefing for everyone upon return. No worries! She knows which side her bread is buttered on. However, she and Commander Raisin MAY indulge in an adult beverage – post party with the hosts. (Why is there a sinking feeling Auntie Veronica may be Involved with the adult beverage aspect?)

Archie, Whiskey, & Peanut are now at the Charles de Gaulle airport. During this stop over in France and before boarding for the next leg of the trip, Archie has to get the very long list of goodies Gordon asked him to bring! They're so excited to soon see their friends again...

Gwyn, Rebus, Café, and Latte have met up at LAX. Their flight is being announced when Gwyn says, "Oh, wait! Don't let the plane take off! I have to get a list of goodies for Gordon!" Café laughs, "Oh, so he called you too?! I'll go with you.” "Hold the plane!” the others shout!

McKeeghan is pretty excited--she's been practicing her dance moves! Can't wait to get there and no, she’s not bringing a cake. "Watch me whip! Watch me whip! See me nae-nae!”

Gus, being the mature responsible one, calls his Momma, Annie, from the San Francisco airport during their layover. "Hey, Momma! I just overheard Molly and Jock talking and I guess Auntie Veronica has hired some poodle strippers for the party! It has to be poodles because Scotties and Westies are too dignified to even consider it. Anyway, I heard she’s even had a pole installed in Auntie Desley's front room for them too! They said something about us tearing the roof off the place with our party. You know Momma, I'm a little worried. I don't want an international mug shot—having a mug shot in the US is embarrassing enough! You remember that time me, my sisters, and cousins all got arrested down in Houston for driving an illegal vehicle? Yeah, on our way to the Garth Brooks concert! You were so mad when you had to come bail us out. Oops, gotta run, Momma! They’re calling our flight!" Gus ends the call and dashes over to join the others.

"B-b-b-but Gus, but-but Gus!" Annie sputters—only to hear ‘click’.

(Hmmm…international mug shot …. poodle strippers …. memories surface of a recent de-briefing.)

Oh, oh! I bet those poodle strippers are the same ones performing at the Come & Get It Kitty Club! They do put on quite a show--per Oreo! She was on a mission. There was a Great Dane, a harlequin I believe, named Lillian – she was elderly with a big plume in her fascinator that caught on everything as she walked around as the Cigarette Girl -- "Candy, Cigarettes?"

But actually, it was "Cigarettes, Candy, Condoms.” It was a cathouse, after all! Part of Oreo’s mission was to meet with a mole from Russia – Vladi~Cat, and it was his place of business. Lillian was a plant to gain Intel.)

Auntie Elaine’s eyebrows shoot up toward the ceiling, “McKeeghan, darlin'--this is your Mommy speaking! I'm sending the family chopper to pick you up at the airport in Brisvegas! Code Phrase: ‘Mommy is a Prude’!

Yes, Sweetheart, I know you were all excited about the big party, but Mommy knows best, baby. We'll go find a good Agility Event when you get back.”

(Ok Mums and Dads--my McKeeghan is a bit young for this event. What are you thinking? Are you going to bring in the German Shepherd Male Dancers too?! And Gordon, even though I can't see you at the moment--Get that cigar bone out of your mouth! Seriously folks?!)

Another Mum chimes in, “Oh no, now I'm getting worried! I didn't know OZ had a Wallabies Mafia issue?! Fiona Paisley just called. She and Bonnie tried to greet a large group of Wallabies that showed up to the party! Being young and naive, Bonnie and Fiona ran over to one of them and were handed carnations … and were told they had very limited time left!

Then Wilma Wallaby kicked Fiona, and Walter Wallaby punched Bonnie in the shoulder! The Wallabies said they were taking over the bash!.... WHERE THE HECK IS AUNTIE Veronica?!

Auntie Veronica, "Sorry--what? Music too loud!"

Hey, just heard from Oreo. Commander Raisin dropped her off and she repelled in to take a look around. She said it is wild and the Scotties are enjoying it all but no one is out of hand. The Ozzie Police showed up, but only to escort one of the Tea Cup French Poodle stripper's and one of the German shepherd male exotic dancers out. Apparently, they forgot where they were and were pretending the party was a re-enactment of Tailhook in Vegas.

The call got real staticky and all I could make out was shearing – razor – exotic. Then the line went dead. Commander Raisin was providing back up so hopefully he will check in soon with his handler.

Auntie Veronica, "Still can't hear you! Hey, you want some fries with that shake? Sorry guys, conga line starting around the pool. Follow me! Talk soon!”

"Da da da da da da, do the bunny hop, hop! hop! hop!”

As you said before, Annie, 'we couldn't make this stuff up even sitting at a bar stone drunk!’

Fiona called again crying – they have officially lost control. Apolo, Gerald, & Café are on the roof jumping off into an inflatable pool someone bought. Ivy & Jolie have become pool sharks and are taking everyone's $$ (including the Mafia's which can only end badly). And Blossom & Latte are being starred at by a couple of German Shepherds!

Auntie Elaine, where is the helicopter you sent? Can we get them all home?

OMG! Just heard from Sawney that someone set Desley’s sofa on fire!

Thankfully they were able to push it outside!

Auntie Veronica is dancing the Congo line around it, and Bonnie, Onie-P, Latte, and Jolie are roasting marshmallows over it!

Auntie Veronica, "Oops, sorry officer, what can I do for you?”

He responds, “Turn the music down, Ma’am. There's been a report of loud music and a party going on until all hours.”

“Really? Not here! I'm just sitting a few dogs for some friends – nothing to see here. We’re all just sitting here, watching the Hawthorn Hawks. No drama here, officer!"

Where oh where is Auntie Desley when we need her????

“Dang, who would have thought we'd ever be looking to Des to be the responsible one???”

Meanwhile Auntie Elaine goes into action, "When I got Andrea Cook's message, I radioed the chopper pilot and told him he would be doing a mass pick up of Scotties and associates--not just McKeeghan. The pilot said ‘impossible, he only had the one harness.’ I told him ‘not a problem--have the co-pilot break open the boxes of T-shirts we were going to deliver to the Zebra Zeprize Fundraiser. Take the T's and tie the bottom into a tight knot. Run cable thru both arms of the t-shirt and twist into a hook. Since we only have one cable, we'll hook the T's every two feet.”

“Ok everybody--we're going in hot – 30 seconds in/out!

Commander Raisin, get that Congo line going again. We'll drag the cable with the T's along-side the Congo line against the direction of movement!

Commander, have each Scottie shimmy into one of the T-shirts through the neck!

30 seconds in/out--make it happen, people ... because those T-shirts, they're screen printed with "Wallabies are Walruses"!"

One question.... what are we going to do with Auntie Veronica?

"Drat. Have the felines grab her at the last minute. Let her wash the chopper dishes."

Are there any other humans there? Did anybody warn Des about the Wallabies?

No, Auntie Desley is still on holiday with no Internet access. But I bet Oreo could get a message to her. Bonnie will have to stay with me until Des gets home.

While Desley is napping on the beach, a man in an overcoat comes along. “Yikes!” I thought , “I'm gonna be flashed! It's been a while…” But he said he was CIA. Oreo's underling. And what do I know about a disturbance back at my place? “What? There's no one at my place, except for the worker. No, no dogs or cats. Maybe that pesky bush turkey has taken advantage of Bonnie's absence? WHAT! Rampant wallabies? Pole dancing poodles? Is Bonnie OK? WHAT? She’s the ringleader...!?”

Sir Puss in Boots to the rescue! He had connections that allowed Agent O access to skirt the perimeter ~ Desley, it appears your place is fine – just a few skinny dippers in the pool. May want to change the water -- looks like the stripper poodles and those shepherds decided to get frisky.

Radio announcement -- “Brisbane airport was closed today due to the activities of a rogue helicopter. Instead of spraying the wetlands for mosquitoes like the city council had asked, the helicopter pilot slung a great chain of crochet out the door and collected a string of wayward cats and Scotties. While traffic on the freeway came to a halt because of rubber-neckers, a gang of walrus looking wallabies were seen chasing the "chain". Many drivers commented on hearing the Scotties cheekily yelling out "ya tails are too skinny!" "Can't get us now! Ha ha ha!!"

But then the shirts started to tear....


            To be continued

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