Greece & New Zealand - Story #4

Story #4 - Greece & New Zealand

    Starring:  Scottish Terrier—Bonnie, Gordon, Archie, Madge, Onie-P (Fiona Paisley), O’Brian. Kelti, Peanut, Sawney, Latte.  Westie—Molly, Whiskey.  Feline—Oreo, Raisin, Captain.

With this posting, Scotty Mums/Dads realize they are writing stories by virtue of individual comments on an original post. The stories now become more story-like as each Mum and Dad contribute a tangent…and sometimes a 90 degree turn.

Greece & New Zealand

  

Ok, so all the mum's are living the high life at the spa in Greece.

The pups are trying to get our attention.

Desley is wondering about why people would pay good $$$ to let rotten little fish munch on their feet. (She'd quickly pulled her tootsies out of the water & hidden them under her sarong. Lenora had called out "How does it feel, Des?" & Des had answered "Lovely!")

They'd all had too many retsina which resulted in Des falling over when putting her sandals back on. Bonnie was embarrassed

Gordon hisses, "Madge! Pull down your skirt!"

Archie senses Madge has caught the eye of a big street dog. "Quick my lovely, in here!"

All of our little heroes follow Archie & Madge and soon all the Scotties are seated at a big round table. Vine leaves with a lamb & rice filling are placed before them.

"Um, these smell good!"

"How do we eat them?"

"They're like little sausages!"

Oreo, wanting something a bit more like cat food, says disdainfully, "You dogs will eat anything!

Suddenly BANG! The door slams shut. Our darlings are locked in without a signal on any of their iPhones! None of the mums know where the Scotties, et al., went…..and all of the mum's are just a little bit tipsy.

Each of our luv bugs look at each other, shrug, and began to eat. Whiskey looks at the others and says, "Why should we waste perfectly good food? We'll figure out our situation after we eat".

What seems like hours later the pack are all waking up. They had only gotten in three or four bites before they all fell asleep. " BLASTED! We've been drugged!" cried Madge. All of them except Oreo. Oreo, it seems, is sitting on a shelf switching his tail back-and-forth with an incredibly smug look on his face.

"I wasn't drugged because I am a more selective eater than you DOGS!" at which the girl Scotties started to cry. Just then the door came crashing in....

It's the Pistachio Grower! And he hasn't been paid!! So he's really, really mad! Watch out anyone with pistachios on their breath...as opposed to those with mustachios (what that is who knows .. it just came up) as opposed to those with moustaches….and beards.

(... is anyone even reading this? Besides Andrea C?!)

All of Nancy JM’s felines (I forget their names) leap into action! They grab bottles of Ouzo and start selling them on the streets of Athens. "Come & get it, $1 a nip" calls the Commander.

The Greeks are amazed. "I've heard of catnip but this?"

Molly has dragged Peanut clear of the fray…and the vine leaves. Bonnie has paraded the boulevard with Archie…and Madge is seething. Gordon is signing autographs at the marina. No one knows where the mums are.

Oreo, Raisin, and the Captain are keeping lookout amidst the broken Ouzo bottles, careful not to cut their feet on the glass. Still on the lookout for some good baklava. "BAKLAVA €1.50 a bit!"

Molly saw it first! Checks her change purse as she races over. Bonnie is close behind, she doesn't want to miss out. (After all it looks like they only have a zillion bits to sell.)

Oreo is yelling “STOP! Will you ratbags never learn? That could be poisonous!"

"Only to our hips!"

Athens traffic is at a standstill as our heroes & the one cautious cat cross the big roundabout.

Sawney and Gordon follow slowly from behind, heads a draggin'.

"What's wrong with you two?" asks Peanut.

“Our Mums didn't give us our allowance...what are we to do?" asks Gordon. “Archie sidetracked us with the nut man van and then he & Madge ran off ...”

"Oh my tummy hurts!" said Sawney.

As each of the puppies gets sick, once again the cats goes walking by with their tails switching back-and-forth, shaking their heads, disgusted. Where have the mums’ gotten to?

They decide to check Constitution Square as they know that at least one of the women are prone to looking at men's legs & the changing of the guard is in about a half hour.

"Paola...Paola...please, stop, don't do it!" all the ladies screamed! But it was too late...Paola had dove for the guard's legs. As Paola is clinging tightly, she's covering his legs with kisses              making the other ladies stand there in utter amazement...Luz looks at Paula says, "Now what in the **ll do we do?”

Lenora is excited. "Oh look, they're wearing kilts!"

"Do you suppose they have drawers on?”

Of course not! It is Greece—land of hot sunshine and dangle free ...

Paula D is wondering where the dogs got to, when suddenly a small black head pops out from one of soldiers' kilts. Paola recognizes Archie and calls him.

The guard whose legs she'd been kissing is truly annoyed, "Madam! This is not a kilt! It is fustanella and we wear the uniform of the evzones. We are elite soldiers! And you have put your lipstick all over my wool stockings! You must clean!!!"

Oreo is speechless at the entire scene:  Paola is kissing the legs of a guard. Sitting on the sidewalk, Des, with her tongue sticking out, is trying to catch the last drop of wine. Andrea is catching imaginary butterflies.

Oreo calls out for Archie. “Come back,” she says, “We need the van! Our mummys’ are useless and we need money! Let's hit a bank!!!”

All the babies gather around formatting a plan. Bonnie stays in the van—she will be the getaway driver. Madge will be the diversion (with her dreamy legs), Gordon is eating, Onie-P plays the customer, Archie and Latte will be the robbers, & Oreo will supervise the heist......

“Oh good idea! We are under supervision of a CAT burglar!”

Heist is going well. Madge strutts across the bank foyer - as only she can do, the high heels clicking on the tiles. Every eye is on her. Archie & Latte are in the queue behind Gordon who is still eating baklava & licking the honeyed pastry off his paws. Onie-P is at the counter having the contents of her piggybank counted.

"What are these? They are not coins!" complains the teller.

"That's my secret stash of treats." Suddenly Oreo gives the signal & the Scotties grab the loot & race out the door & into the waiting van. Bonnie's at the wheel but they're not moving—her legs don't reach the pedals!

"Oh crap!" cries Cafe and he dives for the floor boards to handle the pedals. "Ready, set, GO!"

And the van races away loaded with the whole crew except Major Sawney McCracken and the "cats" whom has stayed back to deflect attention away from the group. The escape is going great when all of a suddenly a truck load of Rabid sheep slide across the road. Latte screams, "STOP!"

(LMAO! Ok ....)

Just as the van is about to crash into the truck of sheep, Gordon jumps out of the van, races around it creating a time warp and sending them all to New Zealand.

The first thing anyone hears is Onie-P crying, " Where's my Momma?"

Jock says, “Relax, bitches, we're almost there. Flash! has everything under control.”

They all land in a heap. Archie saves Madge. The rest roll their eyes. Little Latte is under Bonnie's bottom; Bonnie thinks "That was a soft fall!” then looks to find a rather flat puppy.

“No fear,” Molly says, "I know what to do...quick Café, sit on your sister's bum". Molly very gently picks up Latte's nose, puts it in her mouth, and slowly starts to blow air back into Latte.

"Whew,” they all said, “Good thing Auntie Luz isn't here! She sure would be mad."

Just then a Clydesdale horse came charging around the corner bearing down on all the puppies...."look out!" someone cried!

“Quick jump up onto his legs! We'll get a ride into town!”

(Yep, can y'all not get the visual? Lord only knows how many Scottish Terriers, a few other dogs, and then Auntie Nancy Jo's spectacular herd of cats…all dangling off the legs of this Clydesdale. Nothing suspicious about that…)

Anyway, just as the Clydesdale is running off with all the animals, flash! All the Mums show up. Ut oh, it doesn't look like anybody was the designated driver! Yep there we all are, standing in the Square in New Zealand, some of us drunk, some of us tipsy, some of us spacey, and of course Auntie Des is throwing up in the trashcan.

Flash! again… Auntie Paola still hanging on to the soldier’s legs kissing them raw....The Greek soldier realizes he's no longer outside the Presidential Palace of Athens but outside the Whiskey Shop in Auckland.

And there go the mums...(I'm beginning to wonder about these girls!)…inside to sample the goods. Fortunately the proprietor is stingy & only gives them a thimble full to share.

Our heroes disembark at the ferry terminal and see a kiwi ambling across the street. "Hey! Have you seen our mums?"

"What'd they look like?"

"Oh, some lie down a lot, others fuss … you know."

"Yeah, they just got thrown out of McGill's pub. Go that away."

As the spectacular pack start towards McGill's pub, the sky starts to get dark and the wind picks up, blowing throughout the area, lifting leaves, dirt, and debris.

FLASH! At which time once again they all come crashing down and land right in the middle of a mud puddle! Madge, Bonnie, Latte and Onie-P all begin to cry…for different reasons:  Madge, "My Valentino's are ruined!"; Bonnie, "I don't know where I'm at and I don't know if I should leave it!"; Latte, "I still don't feel well and those flashes hurt!"; Onie-P, "Where is my Momma?"

O'Brian runs over to help the girls and tries to calm them down. Kelti is enjoying the mud puddle with the rest of them; all rolling and splashing about. The clan of cats are furious that they have gotten wet.

Just then a little old man comes strolling by mumbling under his breath. As politely as he knew how, Gordon approached the old man and very kindly said, "Dude, sup? Like where are we man?"

The old man looked at Gordon with a big frown on his face and said, "Look here young Scottish Terrier, you should not speak to elders that way! If you want to know where you're at, you need to ask in a respectful manner!"

“Sorry Bro, sweet as" said –Flash!

The groups have all found each other. Mums & dogs & Nancy JM's cats are happy. They've met some human kiwis, the fruit  and the iconic bird. And after some "fush & chups”, they got on the bus to Rotorua.

Gordon sniffs the air. "Phew! What's that smell?" Madge (straightening her skirt as she disembarks - she'd been up the back with Archie) "Oh Gordon! Didn't mom tell you about releasing like that?" As the dogs get off the bus, they all blame the one before them. The air smells of rotten eggs - sulphur from the volcanic activity all around...

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