West Texas– Story #5

Story #5 – West Texas

   Starring:  Scottish Terrier—Bonnie, Gordon, Archie, Madge, Fiona Paisley (Onie-P), McKeeghan Colleen (MC), Jolie, Gerard, Gus, Peanut, Jock, Sawney, Café, Latte.  Scottish Terrier Angel—Apolo.  Westie—Molly, Whiskey.  Feline—Oreo, Raisin. Cameo Appearances—Gael (toddler), Fisherman

A bit of an meandering tale of the Adventuring Scotties and Associates as they take a road trip in an RV.

West Texas

It was a warm spring early evening in West Texas. The landscape was flat, dusty with a visibility of about 25 miles and a heavy scent of cow in the air.

In the distance you can see an RV coming down the highway. It's a big RV and it’s swerving slightly to and fro. A couple of coyotes are sitting next to the highway watching this RV come towards them. One coyote looks at the other and says "what's that driving the RV?” The other coyote says, "a really hairy small man". As the RV goes past, both coyotes look at each other, shrug and say in unison, "that's a Scotty!"

Just then you hear Apolo holler down to Gordon, "hey give me some more speed" at which Gordon set his bum firmly on the accelerator. Bouncing around the back of the RV and having a merry ole' time is the Scotty pack from all over the world. Gael (we later find out is Ely’s Grandson) says to Peanut, "Hey, how did we get this RV anyway?"

Oreo slowly turned his head and looks at all the dogs and says, “Leave it to me. I borrowed my mom's credit card so the fun is just beginning...!"

Madge, waiting for Jock (IT and telecommunications expert), "Jock, my favorite show is on soon—have you got that satellite going yet?”

"Keep your fur on Madge, I'm working on it! Shouldn't be too much longer," Jock growls, intent on the job at hand.

Madge's eyes start to well up—at which Archie jumps in with his little paws up like a fist and says, “Nobody makes my Madge cry!"

The satellite kicks on and all the computers are go, Flash, booting up.

“Happy, Madge? Hey Archie, want me to take a look at your iPAD now????” Jock grabs the iPad from Archie. Madge yells :Thank you, Jock!” to Jock’s bum as he walks away. Madge and Archie cuddle on a couch to watch the show.

Just then Gordon and Fiona (Onie-p) stroll by holding paws, “What's up Buttercup?”

Madge to Flash

Bonnie, Peanut, Molly, Apolo, Sawney, Cafe & Whiskey roll their eyes. "We're gonna puke!” “What's with all this lovey-dovie stuff?" "Yeah, we're gonna have us some fun!" They grab Jock's paw (as opposed to Jock's strap ) and pull him away from updating the iPad.

"McKeeghan Colleen, you are in charge of snacks. Jolie, can you fix the drinks? And Gus, seeing as you're the most responsible, can you please watch them?" Commander Raisin (Nancy's cat) is sorting them out.

Latte wants to join in, "Please sir." Raisin is kind and explains that Latte can be in charge of shredding all the paper. "Yay. I'm good at that!!"

"Aye aye, Cap'n! On it! Kibble kupcakes with karrot krunchies coming up!" McKeeghan Colleen rises to the challenge! (Hmmm, is it flour or cornstarch I'm supposed to use? The karrots I'm good on if I can get Mommy to bite them into pieces like she does when we play "get it!".)

"Well, Jock, don’t be all work & no play ... anyway, looks like Archie isn't as interested in his iPad as he is in Madge!" “But, but I promised Archie!!!”

McKeeghan is now on top of the RV calling out correction-by-correction to Apolo...hence the swerving. (See second paragraph.) And the map blew away so we need that GPS app on the iPad. And Apolo, McKeeghan is seriously left / right challenged...

Gus yells up through the vent at McKeegan, “Isn’t that our campsite coming up on the left"?

“Left?!” Apolo pulls the steering wheel sharply to the right. "Hey! I thought you said left was right?"

"I meant it was clear, why'd you turn right?" “Just cos ....”

The RV is now heading for the river! Ducks squawk and flee! A fisherman dives for safety!

Just about then, Gus starts for the back exit window—grabbing Latte as he goes by with Sawney hot on his little back paws. Each leap out the exit window and onto the tiny Fiat hitched to the back of the RV.

They slide into the side windows of the Fiat but Latte sits on the brake causing the hitch to fly off and the Fiat begins to spin in circles before slowly coming to a stop. Bath-phobic Gus looks at the others and says “No way was I gonna end up in that water!”

Wisdom of old age! The Fiat is at the top of the riverbank and Gus, Sawney, & Latte watch as the RV slides into the water. Thankfully, however, it's only a creek and at its deepest is 3 1/2 feet deep. All of the dogs clamber out of the RV—some with cats clawing at their backs so as to not get wet—and make their way to the creek banks.

Just then, the fisherman who had dove out of the way starts shaking his fist at all of them and yells, "You buggers! I had a really big fish on my hook!!"

Gus looks at him. "Really?" Gus reaches down and pulls a huge boot from the water with the fishing hook in it. This makes the Fisherman even more cranky. And the horn of the fiat starts honking.

"Gotta go!” says Gus.

MC is NOT going to lose that RV! She has all the pups and cats strip off their collars and harnesses. MC then connects them all together to form a "snatch ‘em" strap and hooks it to the back of the RV.

Madge saunters over to the irritable fisherman. She coos, "I believe you--you did have a really big fish before that ole boot ate it! How big do you think it was?"

While Madge has the fisherman distracted, Apolo grabs the keys to his dilapidated truck and tosses them in through the open window to Gus—already behind the steering wheel. (Meanwhile, the cats sneak away with creel full of fish.)

Madge is still super-stroking the fisherman's ego as Gus guns the truck toward the RV. MC, still hanging onto the back of the RV, yells "READY!" and tosses the improvised snatch 'em strap to hook onto the rear bumper of the truck as it roars by.

It works! The RV is back on the road but.....

The old truck has broken down in the middle of the road! "Poop"! Gus yells and everyone hangs their heads and begin to act guilty. "I didn't mean actual ‘poop’… I meant oh darn it!" Gus continues, "Someone is going to have to call one of the Mums to find out if we have roadside service so we can get that truck towed. Or maybe one of you could call one of the two Dads?"

"Apolo, since you were the one driving, you call your dad!", as all the others jump in with Gus to say "yeah, yeah you call your Dad!"

"Ok" says Apolo, “It’s ok. My dad and I are more like friends; I can tell my dad anything and he won't get mad." He looks around nervously, pulls the cell phone out of his skirt, and dials home... 1 ringadingy, 2 ringadingy, 3 ringadingy...

Apolo hears his Dad answer with a hearty “Hola!”

“Dad it's me, Apolo! You're never going to believe this, but we're...Yes, Jolie & Gerard are ok, Yes, they're with me. Dad…dear ole dad, a funny thing happened on the way to the shop ... um by the way, could you call roadside service for us, please? Huh? Well it's like I said ...”

Sawney looks out the back window and sees the fish-less-erman coming along the road. He's not happy. The cats had prepared a cordon Bleu seafood feast from the contents of the creel and they now throw the leftovers out the window as they yell "Thanks mate!" to the fisherman.

MC once again takes charge and organizes everyone to abandon the truck. Soon they're all sailing off down the road again in the RV.

Madge flutters her long eyelashes at Archie. "Oh sweetums, this van is a bit fish-smelly and my skirt is getting dirty ..."

Poor Archie doesn't quite know what to do, he actually likes the wet mud & fish smell. But because he'll do anything for Madge, he grabs a brush and starts to brush her flowing skirt.

Meanwhile, Onie-P, Bonnie and Latte are up in one of the Hid-e-holes in the RV, giggling like little girls do. Just then Bonnie jumps down and screams "STOP" at the top of her lungs!

Well, the brakes get slammed on and dogs begin to roll forward, flipping over each other. Cats have dug their claws into the cushions—hanging on for dear life as the RV come screeching to a halt!

Molly hollers out to everyone, "is everyone OK?" Everyone gives an affirmative response--it seems everyone is OK. Gus looks at Bonnie and askes, "What in the world were you doing? Why have we stopped?"

Bonnie begins to scuff her paws, shifting her weigh left and right. "Um, um, I, um".

Just then Latte and Onie-P join her. Onie -P tells Gus, "Don’t yell at her, it was very important." Latte chimes in with, "yeah, important!"

Gus takes a slow, deep breath; exhales and asks, "Ok girls, just tell us what was so important?"

In unison, all three girls point out the side window of the RV and squeal, “There's a mall! And they have a Coach store! And we all need new handbags!"

The girls sail into the shopping mall talking excitedly. "Oh! Look at those handbags!”

"Oh, isn't that one just darling?" Madge races ahead, but suddenly pulls up short at a bridal shop. "Don't let Archie see!" and in she pops. The other girls are torn. They want new handbags but who can resist trying on bridesmaid dresses?!

"I'm gonna be a flower girl" says Latte, "Um, what's a flower girl?"

"You'll love it! It's great fun, you get to throw rose petals on the floor!" says Molly.

Meanwhile, the boys have managed to park the RV and find themselves a spot to lay in the shade. Archie is dreaming of Madge and Gordon is dreaming of being an only child & getting the big bed to himself.

Hours later, the shopping is done. The girls head back to the RV and the RV pulls out into the sunset.

But soon, the RV bogs down and the headlights quit working! It has become the darkest of nights. Scotties and Associates are falling all over each other in the dark as they try to fix things. And they're all getting cranky…”Oww!” Gordon’s nose gets bonked!

“Aww, poor Gordon!” Bonnie kisses Gordon's nose.

Voila! Gordon’s nose GLOWS! They can finally see! However, they see no one is in the driver’s seat! Gosh, so who's supposed to be driving?

“Not again!” screams Oreo, “We've been abducted!”

“Don't panic,” Café says soothingly, “As long as we're together, we'll be fine.”

Archie & Madge are kissing in a corner. “Hey you two,” says an annoyed Bonnie, “Get a room!”

Felines 00 & 7 (sorry, I always forget the names) climb on Gordon's' back and out the window. “Where are we??? I see cactus and snakes—brrrrr! Is it possible we're in Texas??? Onie-P, come see if you can you find the way back to your place?”

Gordon has started searching for something on the floor…and with his head down, no light! "Gordon!” they all go crook on him!

The RV is next seen driving through the night with Gordon strapped to the front bumper bar.

The RV bumps across the desert landscape. As dawn breaks they release Gordon since they no longer need his nose to light the way. Besides, Gordon is sort of out of it by now anyway. "I'm going to the back to sleep," he grumbles.